Tales From the Sea
by Luna32
Summary: What happen when Abel meets Jack Sparrow?
1. Father Four Eyes

**Disclaimer: **I really wish I owned this stuff, but I don't alas what shall I do…I know I'll write fan fiction, and put this little thing called a disclaimer on it.

**A/N:** My friend I are doing this movie about pirates, and this is one of the ideas we had, but we didn't want to use other peoples ideas, so I wrote this up instead. Enjoy.

Abel looked around the black ship deck confused. Dirty men scurried around everywhere. The father crinkled his nose. The men smelled of sweat, salt, dirt and…RUM.

A waved washed over the side of the ship soaking the father from head to toe. He sighed; wiping his glasses on his dripping robs. He was in no condition to meet the Pope now. He was already late, and this wasn't Rome!

Someone tapped on the father's shoulder. He turned to see a man in with a red bandana and captions hat on. "And who might you be," asked the man.

"Oh," said Abel surprised at being addressed so bluntly. "My names Father Abel Nightroad. I was wondering if you knew"

"Gents," shouted the man waving around his dirty bottle, "we have a stow away!"

The flurry of movement on the deck halted instantly, everyone starred at Abel. "Well I think stow away is a little harsh. I'm just trying to reach Rome."

"Are you not on the ship of the great Captain Jack Sparrow," asked the man.

"Yes," said Abel. "But I really just want to get to Rome."

"And are you not on said ship of the said great Captain Jack Sparrow with out said permission."

"Well yes," continued Abel. "But like I said before,"

"And since you are on the said ship of the said great Captain Jack Sparrow with out said captain's permission thus you are a said stow away."

"If I could just speak to this Captain," pleaded Abel, a little confused, and more than a little more this man was drunk

"Great," interrupted the man, "the great Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Great Captain, if I could just speak to this Great Captain Jack Sparrow I'm sure we could work out this whole situation. Like I said before I'm just trying to get to Rome."

"Arg," said another man in the holey father's ear. "That be the' great Captain Jack Sparrow ye' be talk'n to."

"Here, here," said Sparrow.

Abel sighed. "Please Captain if I could just get a ride to Rome I'd be eternally great full."

"He wants to go to this Rome boys," said the captain turning and heading back toward his quarters, "through him over board then."

"I, I" yelled the crew.

"Wait," shouted Abel. "There are sharks in the water and it's cold. Surely you wouldn't through a father of holy nature like myself in the water with them."

Sparrow stopped and turned, a smile appearing on his face. "Swim fast."

The father's face dropped. Sh…sh…sharks and the cold! How would he survive?

"And bring some more rum," shouted Sparrow as more men grabbed Abel and hauled him over to the side of the boat. The water looked cold, really cold.

"Release him," said another voice, followed by the clicking of a gun. Jack turned to see the barrel of a pistol pointed directly between his eyes. "Release Father Nightroad at once."

"Tres, I didn't know you were here as well," said the scared father.

"Release Father Nightroad," repeated Tres.

"Now, now, no need to get messy," said Sparrow patting Tres on the shoulder. "I'm sure me and Father Four Eyes can work something out. After all I am the great Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Positive, you will release Father Nightroad and escort him to Rome."

"Here here," cheered Jack, "bring some more rum gents, we have guests on board"

"Negative," continued Tres, "no rum will be drunken while Father Nightroad is on board."

"Throw 'em over board gents." Tres's gun barrel clicked again, still firmly planted between Jack's eyes. "Wait," his face made a horrible grimace, "no rum while Four Eyes is on board." The whole crew erupted in disdain.

And thus a deal was struck that the Great Captain Jack Sparrow, who liked to say his name a lot, would escort Abel Nightroad and Tres to Rome, and to the hatred of the whole ship, that no rum would be drunken while they were on bored.

**A/N:** I don't know if I'm going to make this a one shot or not. If I get a lot of good reviews then I might keep it going. But it'll just be a collection of odd stories with no point or anything.


	2. Candy Island

**Disclaimer:** So don't own anybody here.

**A/N:** Oh my gosh freedom sweet freedom thy name is vacation. It's over; it's over. Our sentence of incarceration and imprisonment in that jail they call school is over. That means I'm going to be able to write a lot more, and I'm going to make a conscious effort to write more fan fiction, instead of always writing Love and War . I'd like to thank Twilight Illia for Estar's description and apologize in advance for typos and misspelled character names. It's late and I've had too much music and sugar.

"Hey guess what I've found," shouted Jack as he ran up and down the ship deck of the Black Pearl waving around apiece of old looking paper. "It's a map to Candy Island. Mr. Gibbs set a course um," Jack paused flipping open his compass, "in that direction."

The Pearl sailed day and night to reach Candy Island, traveling through the fiercest creatures known to pirates, dolphins, cute creatures that little girls loved. Feared far more than the kraken by pirates, they were just so sweet.

"I see it. I see it," screamed the caption as the ship made land and the crew disembarked.

It was a splendid place, Candy Island. Instead of trees there were lollypops of every flavor. Candy apples and jaw breakers hung from the lollypop trees. The bushes were made of lickerish, while the rivers flowed true with cherry Coke and little peeps swam around in them. The bugs were gummies, and grass was green colored bubble gum. Instead of dirt, there was chocolate on the ground, and in the middle of the whole island was a big rock candy mountain where it was said that the streams where alcohol, the streets were paved with gold, there wasn't any wind or snow and you never change your socks.

"It's beautiful," said Mr. Gibbs, a tear coming to his eye. "But be weary ye. It's said that a deadly monster inhabits this island. Hair like fire with pale skin, men take one look at it and turn to stone instantly.

There came a loud cry of "I think I'm going to be sick," as Abel Nightroad fell off the ship. He looked around, as he lay crumpled in a heap on the brown sugar sand looking around. "Are those PEEPS?" he asked as he spotted the ducks in the water. "Peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, peeps, must have peeps! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!" he yelled as ran after the yellow marshmallow ducks.

"Abel is that you?" Came an unknown voice.

"It's the monster," shouted one of the crewmembers. "Advert your eyes before we all die a horrible death."

A young woman poked her head out from behind one of the lollypop stems. She had red hair, blue eyes, and a big puffy dress on. It was Esther Blanchett. "Abel," she asked, "are you ok."

Concern for her friend was written all over her face as she watched him shove peep after peep in his mouth. "Mmmh sugar."

"Monster," commanded Jack, eyes shut tight "be gone before us or we will be forced to take drastic measures. No one will be turned to stone today…or if you must turn someone to stone take them," he pointed to his crew, "and let me leave."

"But I'm not a monster. I'm a friend of Abel's," explained Esther I've been stuck on this island with no way off for a long time. My names Esther Blanchett. It's a pleasure to meet you um….?"

"Captain Jack Sparrow. I'm captain of this ship here, the Black Pearl." He gestured to his ship, a sly look appearing on his face. "If you truly are a friend of Abel's while I don't show you to my quarters while the men restock, and we can talk about your future traveling arrangements, and you can take a rest. I'm sure you must be tired." The sly look on his face deepened.

Suddenly a peep landed on Jack's head. It was followed by a low growl, before Abel's mouth closed around the little marshmallowy treat and the top of Jack's head, Abel's saliva running down his face.

"Mmmmmh peep."

**A/N:** Ok so it wasn't a very good chapter. It's late, and I'm kind of on a sugar/music high and have been talking to too many people. If you didn't get the whole big rock candy mountain thing it's from a movie we saw in English _Oh Brother Where Art Thou_. Here's a link for the song, but I couldn't find one with the movie scene.  Anyways like always review, and I'll keep the story going if anyone wants me to.


	3. EEEEEEEEEEEK

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Trinity Blood or POTC if I did would you be reading this?

**A/N: **I so had to write this just to write it before I left on vacation. So for the next 2 weeks no new postings because I'm not really going to have internet access because I don't feel like torturing myself at my dad's friends house with his son who's friends I swear look like gangsters and hooks and who I don't trust as far as I can throw them.

Abel waved the bottle high as he sang "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum," before collapsing on the bed in the captain's quarters. He chugged the rest of the bottles contents then, laid there, on the bed hiccupping until he passed out.

When Abel came to something was very wrong, but he couldn't tell what. His hands and feet where tied to the bed railings, his clothes lay scattered over the floor, and his head hurt like there was no tomorrow.

"Oh good you're awake," said Jack Sparrow, who apparently had been laying next to Abel this whole time. He rolled on top of Abel. Jack was stripped down to his boxers. "I'm bored," he said his mouth curling into a smile. "Lets have some fun."

"What!" spat Abel, as Jack kissed his mouth, rubbing his hands across his chest and other various parts of Abel's body "No, no, no. I don't wont to do this!" Abel started to struggle in an effort to get Jack off of his, but the captain only seemed to enjoy himself more. "I'm straight, I'm straight, I'm straight, besides only girls are on the bottom. Why do you get to be on the top?"

"Because I'm the captain of this ship," stated Sparrow, a little sad that Abel wasn't enjoying himself too. "And thus me being the captain of this ship means that I'm the guy, thus I'm on the top. And thus since I am thee guy in this two some then you must be the girl, and there for must be on the bottom. Now can we get back to business?" His eyes darted dangerously over the rest of Abel's body.

"NO," screamed Abel. "I will not take any part in this! Go find some other guy for you sick fun."

"But I already asked them all," said Jack giving Abel his best puppy dog eyes. "No one else wanted to, and you were already here."

Abel's hands started to frantically search for anything that he could use to untie himself. They closed around the handle of a sword. While Jack was otherwise "occupied" Abel cut free his bonds, smacked Jack over the head, and ran from the room, bed sheets wrapped around him.

"Help, help," he screamed as he ran around the deck before slipping in a puddle of water and landing face first in front of Miss Esther.

"Um father," she muttered, face turning red. "I think you lost something." Abel looked over to where his sheet lay blowing in the breeze, before he died of embarrassment, only to be raised two weeks latter from the dead because Jack ended up being bored again and none of the crewmembers would agree to play with him.

**A/N:** Yes that was a very bad chapter in more ways than one, at least by my standers. I promise no more dirty chapters. You just can't make an Abel Jack fan fic without having one dirty Abel Jack chapter. I mean they are the perfect let's be gay together couple. That's all I'm going to say.


	4. Fashion Show

**Disclaimer:** If I owned it you would be watching it not reading it.

**A/N: **I've finally got around to updating. Yeah. I know it's taken a while, but you know how summer works, between vacation and studying for my drivers test I just don't have much time. Also I have to give a shout out to all my reviewers. Because of you guys this is my second most popular story. Thanks guys, keep it up. P.S The idea of spin the bottle was from my friend and excellent author sasukeandrockleelvr and Raekitty13 and their story That Top.

The sign of the captain's quarters read:

DO NOT DESTERB HARD AT WORK TRYING TO SAVE MY OWN SKIN Sincerely Your Loving Captain 

The Great Jack Sparrow

The crew of the Pearl stopped and gapped at the sign. Since when was their captain ever hard at work? But then again the fact that the Fly Dutchmen had taken over the Pearl and Davy Jones had last been seen entering the Jack's quarters' with Captain Barrbosa and the monkey, Jack, could have something to do with it.

Suddenly the door flew open, and Jack stumbled out. "It's ok gents," he shouted addressing his crew. "I have figured out a way to save my skin. I mean the ship….No wait that can't be right." He paused, "ah. I mean I have figured out a way to save our skins, yes that's it."

He took a swig from the bottle in his hand. "After a rousing game spin the bottle rum style between myself, the squidy Davy, Jack the monkey, and Barrbosa we have decides that the best way to figure out who will all join the Flying Dutchmen's crew is to have a fashion show/karaoke night. Winning team gets to go free. Pare up into groups and get to work. Tonight we have our WALK OFF."

The moon was high and full as groups of hopeful men dressed in everything from women's dress, to pirate sheik, to thongs and line up to have a chance to stuff their on stage. While another group of men with guitars and drums sat behind the stage in the middle of the ship to perform the music.

It was one of the most funniest and scarcest things that the pirates had ever seen in their entire lives. It was a night none would never soon forget.

Will Turner was first to take stage. He was dressed entirely in black pance, stipped red and black socks, white sneakers, and a black shirt, which had the words **Feminine Beauty **printed across it in hot pink letters.

"I knew somewhere in my heart that something like happiness wouldn't continue

But these feelings of liking you won't change Goodbyeee forever to the fun days" he sang dancing alone to the music.

"ah I wanted to be with you forever so don't leave me behind

ah Forever Wasn't there from the begining, was it

ah I'm getting scared I'm walking the answerless road single-mindedly

ah I really loved you

When has it become so easy to cry I want to laugh I want to laugh Next to you"

As Will's song came to an end shocked faces stared up at before breaking out into a round of cheering applause and screaming "ON CORE!"

After that three ragged pirates from the Dutchmen went up and sang Laughy Taffy.

And so it continued. Pirate after pirate took the stage, dancing and singing. _Hey Baby, Psychedelic Lover, Drop It Like It's Hott, Money Maker, Gold Digger, Milk Shakes, _and_ Candy Man _were only just a few of them. Some got booed off stage, like Esthur, who sang _Best Friends,_ while others did on cores. And when Abel walked on stage in that black, red, and white low cut dress singing _Fergilious_ the crowed went wild. Then Davy Jones took stage to a roaring applause doing _Love Me or Hate Me._ But Barbossa was the big winner of the night. He got his grove on in fishnet leggings, short shorts, and a bright blue shirt all the long while singing

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
No it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend 

You're so fine  
I want you mine  
You're so delicious  
I think about you all the time  
You're so addictive  
Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?  
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious  
And hell yeah  
I'm the mother fking princess  
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right

She's like so whatever  
You could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about! 

Finally as the fashion show drew to a close Jack Sparrow walked up. Everyone was completely dead silent. Jacks outfite was black leather and he had died his hair bleach blonde for the ocassion. Everone could tell he really wanted to win.

The band stuck up a beat, and baby did he sing.

"This one goes out to my Able Nightroad! This is how I truly feel about you."

"Kimi wa seijitsu na moralist kirei na yubi de boku o nazoru  
Boku wa junsui na terrorist kimi no omou ga mama ni kakumei ga okiru

Koi ni shibarareta specialist nagai tsume o taterareta boku  
Ai o tashikametai egoist kimi no oku made tadoritsukitai

Aishite mo ii kai? yureru yoru ni  
Arugamama de ii yo motto fukaku  
Kuruoshii kurai ni nareta kuchibiru ga tokeau hodo ni  
Boku wa...kimi no...Vanilla

"...Nante kidorisugi" sonna cool na kimi wa plastic  
Atsui menazashi ni wa ecologist sono moeru kuchizuke ga modokashii

Yugandeiku kimi no kao ga  
Ah boku ga boku de iraremasu you ni

Aishite mo ii kai? yureru yoru ni  
Arugamama de ii yo motto hayaku  
Kurushii kurai ni nureta kuchibiru ga kotoba nante mou  
Kimi to boku not Burning love

Ah ikutsu asa o mukaereba ah yoru wa owaru no darou ka  
Ah sora ni chiribamerareta ah shiroi hana ni kakomarete yuku

Aishite mo ii kai? yureru yoru ni  
Arugamama de ii yo "I've seen a tail"  
Kuyashii kurai ni kimi ni hamatteru no ni  
A crew sees cring knees,  
I wanna need. Not betray!!

Aishite mo ii kai? yureru yoru ni  
Arugamama de ii yo motto kimi o  
Kuruoshii kurai ni nareta koshi tsuki ga tokeau hodo ni  
Kimi wa...boku no...bannin da"

By the time Jack's song had come to a close not one crew member knew what the hell he had sang. The whole ship was dead silent except for the laughter of Davy Jones who looked like he couldn't breath from laughing so hard. "Winner he declared," pointing to Jack. "Winner. Anyone who has the guts to get up in front of every pirate here and sing that sick perverted sex song deserves to win, and there's no way I'd have them on my ship."

"Yeah," screamed Jack jumping up and down like a little girl. "I'm the winner. I've betten you all. Hehehe, I can't believe it." He wipped a tear from his eye. "Thank you so much. You don't know how much this means to me."

And so it was. Everyone else had to go join the Flying Dutchmen's crew, excetp, Tres Able, Esthur because Tres threatened Davy Jones, and except Jack who won, and went to England to become a proffesional motel until someone told him he was to ugly to be one and tried to hang him in the middle of the night for pirating. So he went to Singapor for a new crew and is curently roaming the seas pirating.

**A/N:** Hi hope you liked it. It was fun to write. If your kinda confused about Jack's song don't worry about it. It's Vanilla by Gackt. I didn't translate it over to English because I'd have to change the rating and I didn't feel like it. It's the dirtest song I know of. That's why Jack's singing it. Also I took his and Will's looks streight from the music videos. There really is a video with a guy with the words Feminine Beauty printed in hott pink letters. The only difference was I translated the words over. Anyways I'm ranting. Review and I shall post another.


	5. Power of the Pen

**Disclaimer: **Um…..

**A/N: **Thanks to the great reviews from my last chapter I've decided to post another chapter. This chapter was actually inspired by a reviewer who didn't like the last chapter I posted. But you can't please them all. But thanks for the idea.

"No way," shouted Jack starring down at the news article. "This isn't right! I am not…." he paused. "And I'm so not a…" he paused again. "And I do not enjoy seeing my crew members in….." He paused for a third time unable to speak any of those despicable words.

"We have a situation on our hands men!" Jack stumbled out of his room, tipsy and ferrous all at the same time. "Make sail, mark head, all that stuff what ever it is." He starred around at the confused look of his crewmen. "Get moving all of you. We have a dangerous situation on our hands here!"

"What is it captain?" asked Mr. Gibbs his confused look giving away to fear. "Is….is it the kraken?"

"NO, this is worse Mr. Gibbs! This is a million times worse."

"Is….is all the rum gone Captain?" The whole crew gasp, worry and fright on all their faces.

"NO," screamed Jack. "This is even worse than the rum being gone!"

Mr. Gibbs became confused. "What could be worse than no rum?"

"This."

Jack threw the article in Mr. Gibbs face. He quickly scanned it. "Host the sails you scurvy dogs. Make sail for Port Royal! This is slander."

"It's abuse," added Jack sticking his finger in the air like someone important.

Else where Mr. Gaetan sat in his office sipping whisky reading his latest article. It was one of his best articles ever…..No wait it WAS his best article ever. What could be better than THIS?

"You villain," screamed Jack as he entered the room. His finger pointed directly at Mr. Gaetan. "You villain. How dare you abuse the power of free speech. How dare you! How dare you abuse the power of your pen! How dare you make me out as some sort of!" He threw down Mr. Gaetan's article right in front of him. The headline read:

WHAT PIRATES REALLY DO NOT FOR YOUNG READERS 

Accompanying the headline where many pictures from the pirates' fashion show the previous day. None of them were very flattering. Among was one of Barbossa in his blue short shorts, Will Turner in his **Feminine Beauty **shirt, Abel in his dress, and Jack in his leather. Following the picture was a lengthy article that depicted the pirates fashion show in great detail. All of which, in Jack's opinion, wrong.

"I merely reported the truth," replied Mr. Gaetan calmly still sipping his whisky.

"I am not a cross dresser!" shouted Jack pacing the writer's office up and down. "Or GAY for that matter!"

"Really?" One of Mr. Gaetan's eyebrows went up. "That's not what my source says." A pad of paper and pen appeared in his hand instantly. "Like to give a statement Mr. Sparrow. Counter the slander against you. Great publicity."

"Well you know…. Wait a minute no it's not. Tell me who told you. Who was your source?"

The look on Jack's face was murderous. So much that Mr. Gaetan sang like a canary. Not much to say about keeping sources confidential.

It would have been a lie to say that it was a great shock to find out who had given the reporter the inside scoop on the Pearl's show, but then again it wasn't. "You told him I was bloody cross dresser!" screamed Jack at Davy Jones. "You conniving dog. How could you. You sang too!"

Davy broke into a bought of laughter. "I might not have gotten your sole, but this is much better."

"You knew what that reporter would write!"

"Hehehe, of course I did." continued the squid man. "I practically wrote the whole article myself."

"WHY?" stormed Jack.

Jones looked up. "Haven't you heard? When there is freedom there is always those that choose to abuse it. I for one choose to abuse it"

**A/N:** Not my best writing I will admit. But I felt like I should write this chapter cause it rang with truth. A corny saying yes, but not the point. The point is….I just felt like writing it.


	6. Role Playing

**Disclaimer: **Still thinking….

**A/N: **This chapter is dedicated to my fiend Rae, cause she actually inadvertently gave me the idea for this chapter, but she doesn't know it. And just a heads up I'm about to totally butcher this whole story, but not in the way you think.

Jack gave the papers in his hand one last quick glance trying to memorize every word of them. Why hadn't he done this earlier, oh why! And now it was too late.

_I'll just have to wing it_, he thought.

SHOW TIME

Jack stormed on to the deck of the Black Pearl, or rather the Jolly Roger as it was being called lately. The Black Pearl's old sails had been replaced with bright red and white stripped ones. The outside of the captain's quarters had been painted gold, the cannon's shinned. The whole shipped had been stained to make it look new.

"Hook," shouted Jack a look of annoyance and pain crossing his face. His stupid Goddamn tights were riding up his butt again. What sort of guys wore tights honestly!

"Hahaha, Peter Pan," shouted Davy Jones, or rather Captain Hook that day. The normally half squid half human now looked like a British officer only pirateier with tentacles. A big purple hat adorned his head with a white quill feather. He had on a fake black wig and mustache. There were white ruffles around his neck sprouting from his red blazer. A golden hilted sword and sheath hung at his side, and over one of his left tentacles was a shinny silver hook that was meant to be a whole hand.

"Prepare to die Pan," laughed the fake Captain Hook. "I have your precious Wendy and there's nothing you can do about it. HAHAHA."

Jones/Hook waved his hook toward a big next dangling over the side of the ship that held a fake Wendy, played by Esther dressed in a nightgown over her hobbit suit. The whole thing made her look very fat. "Help me Peter Pan, help me," Wendy/Esther screamed thrashing around in her net.

"You fiend. How dare you-" Jack paused. What was his line again?

"How dare you- How dare you look so ugly."

"What was that?" yelled Hook. That wasn't how the story went.

"You heard me Hook. Your so ugly that when your momma gave birth to you the doctor's all died of shock."

Davy/Hook turned red. How dare that low rate excuse for a pirate bring his momma into this. "Oh yeah," he roared. "Well your mama's so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!"

"My momma is not hairy. You take that back."

"Make me," shouted Hook.

"Your momma's so when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'..."

And so they went on trading lame your momma jokes all the while no one noticed Esther/Wend pull a knife from her nightgown and cut herself free from the net and float down onto deck. "Excuse me," she muttered at Jack and Davy who had by now moved on to your momma's so blonde jokes. "But I'm free. You two can stop fighting now."

Jack looked around Davy an excited look triumphant on his face. "In your face Hook. I've freed Wendy with out you even knowing it. Now come here and give daddy some sugar." Jack spread his arm's wide directing the last part of his statement at Esther/Wendy.

"No," she shrieked pulling herself back. "I'd rather kiss Smeed." And magically Father Abel who was dressed up like Smeed appeared at her side like they do in the manga books. He was a lot taller and skinner than the real Smeed, but he was the only character left. "Oh Smeed," she flung herself into Abel's arms. "Thank you for saving me. I don't know what I would have done if it had been that retched Peter."

Smeeded looked down at _his_ Wendy confused. This wasn't how the story went.

"Stop everything," shouted a mysterious voice. Everyone gasped and turned to see the real Peter Pan, Captain Hook, and Wendy standing at the bow of the ship. "This is a mockery of us, and we've come to put a stop to it."

"Aye aye," agreed the real Captain Hook, and both Peter and Hook, lunged at Jack and Davy, swords drawn, while Wendy walked gracefully over to Esther who was still clinging to Abel.

"Oh please don't hurt us," pleaded Esther tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I truly am, but I just couldn't kiss him. I couldn't!"

"It's ok," said Wendy looking over at Jack. "I don't blame you." She shot a look over at the dueling counterparts. The real Peter and Hook were much better at sword fighting than the fake ones. "Go Peter."

"Go Hook," shouted Abel.

"Go Smeed," shouted Esther.

"But I'm right here," said a confused Abel.

"I know, but that's what I would say if you were fighting." Both Wendy and Abel looked at Esther worriedly before turning back to the fight. It was amazing how bad Jack and Davy sucked at swordplay, and soon the fight was over. Peter and Hook stood atop Jack and Davy, two big lumps rising on their heads.

"And remember if you're ever in need of us it's the second star to the right and straight on till morning." Peter grabbed Hook's hand, then Wendy's and all three of them jumped off the side of the ship and disappeared.

"What just happened?" someone asked. Everyone looked around for a quick second, shrugged. Bottles of rum appear out of thin air, and they all started drinking until they couldn't drink no more, or just had to go to the bathroom really badly.

**A/N:** Oh how much fun this chapter was to write. It was a horrible mockery of the real story but who cares. It was just plain old fun. If anyone has any ideas for future chapters I'd love to hear them. I'm running low on ideas here.


End file.
